You have have spent another day only checking off things on your evergrowing to do list, or you were at social gathering that has cost you alot of energy and you feel exhausted. You can’t seem to find the time to relax, practice self care or make time for things you actually love and that give you energy. You are always pleasing others, saying ‘yes’ when you want to say ‘no’ and no one respects your time. Sounds familiar? Then you need boundaries and you need them fast!
It can be hard, declining an invitation or saying you want some time for yourself. You are afraid of what others will think of you: ‘will they think I am rude or selfish, will they still want to be my friend?’ But it’s important to know that you can’t please everyone, it’s not even healthy to please everyone! When you want to give the world the best of yourself, you need time for yourself. Time to relax, to recharge, to just be. Setting boundaries is essential in this process.
Acknowledgement is a great and important startingpoint. Knowing that you don’t respect your own time and that you need to communicate this more clearly, now that is something to be proud of! Well done! Now, let’s get started by writing down in a journal what situations or people are taking energy from you. Be as precise as you can be. On the opposite end write down what gives you energy. These are the things you need to make more time for. See where boundaries are needed and don’t be afraid to put them up. Don’t feel bad or guilty, you are doing this for you.
How to say ‘no’ to people:
Choose to create some space between the question you are being asked and your reply. That way you are already making time for yourself to reply the way you want to and give yourself some momentum. You can then say: ‘Let me think about that’ or ‘I will come back to you on that’. Then you don’t respond in the way you used too ( a quick ‘yes’)and you create space for yourself to actually think about your reply and how you feel about it. You can always say ‘no’ later on and in the way you want to. People will know you have given your reply some thought, which is always a good thing. Remember: when you respect your time, others will too!